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To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering.

But the problem with surviving was that you ended up with the ghosts of everyone you’d ever left behind riding on your shoulders.


「Aonuma Kiriha RP blog.」
[ Hiatus until college calms down ]

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ms-lumina:

“I don’t know what to think really.” She glanced his way. “You seem confusing all of a sudden,“ she said afterwards and looked away at nothing. And still not fond of the idea to share anymore information, Nene shrugged at him. Why so secretive. He must know that she would just continue nagging him on about it sooner or later.

Just half ignoring to answer her returning question, Kiriha had decided to turn the questions on her now. She tilted her head a little bit downwards, at the same time giggling slightly.

"Would you be jealous if I said ‘yes’?” She placed a teasing stare at him and leaned in as if she wanted to take a closer look at him, while again crossing her arms. Why he would be interested in her private life seemed like something he usually wouldn’t care much about, and Nene thought it was because he wanted to lead the attention away from him for a little while.

“My charms are very popular among the boys as a matter of fact.” Her expression almost showing bragging, but she decided not to and only smiled mysteriously.

She hesitated to continue for a second, taking a step back from Kiriha. “But you know what? None.“ She shook her head lightly and let the words sink in for the other one. “No guys have been able to captivate my heart. I haven’t had time as you would probably understand given my circumstances this previous year.” She gazed at him, awaiting another one of his sneaky comments.

“Oh?” The corner of his lips seemed to tug into a slight frown at that. “How so?” It was a rhetorical question; of course he knew why she told him so. He wasn’t about to admit it, however. Not so soon, at the very least. Because knowing Nene, he had a feeling she might bring up the subject again sooner or later. He just hoped it was more later than sooner – if not, well, diversion tactics were still right up his alley.

His lips tugged themselves back into a faint smirk, however. “Jealous? …I’m sorry, were you hoping I was?” It was almost laughable to him. If it weren’t for the way Nene peered up at him scrutinizingly. His smirk faded, and the discontented frown returned as he looked back at her. “…What?”

He wasn’t about to let himself get thrown off his pace by this girl. There was no way she’d be serious about that inquiry – her expression gave it away. Yet, he couldn’t think of another thing to say without it possibly backfiring later on. And so he kept silent as he listened to her, feeling more than a little miffed.

He’d caught his full attention with her admittance, however. Briefly, his eyes seemed to concentrate on her, contemplating as he tuned in her words. That was… unexpected, to summarize his thoughts in a word. Nene, the rising idol, still single? Another thought crossed his mind that almost made him smirk. He had to wonder how her fans think of that.

…Which brought up another thought.

She was an idol. Of course she’d be single, if her agency was one of those groups that didn’t allow their hired agents to have relationships outside of work. He was familiar with some stories about idols being forbidden from dating by the companies they work for; for the sake of keeping fans deluded into the idols’ appeals. Single idols were easier to market to the public. And that was just one of the heavy stigmas an idol would face… or so he’d heard.

He felt his lips part ever so slightly to speak, but his tongue faltered. Expression allayed into a mask of disdain, Kiriha let his eyes trail away from her.

“I see,” was all he could say to that. “That’s a shame for someone with your charms. Even I can say that.” Though he felt like saying much more. But honestly, what else was there for him to say? It wasn’t even his place to say them.

(Source: kruisvuur)